I started to study gentle parenting and then conscious parenting as a babysitter in my late 20’s.  I watched parents using completely different new ways of talking and experiencing children. Once I had my own child I got a conscious parenting coach and began to really dive into what it means to parent your child consciously. 

I work with families that are wondering about other ways to parent mostly because the old 1950’s way is not working. In fact it’s damaging for the child and their wellbeing which will show up in adulthood. I help families understand what their children are trying to express, what they are experiencing in life, and then I guide the parent(s) to use positive reinforcement in a conscious parenting way. This means that children will have natural consequences instead of a punishment from you. Conscious parenting is about being self aware. Self aware of your own trauma, your own reactions, your own internalized experience of your childhood and how you unconsciously repeat the patterns of your own parents and their parents and so on. 

If you’re here reading this then you already recognize that what you learned from childhood isn’t working for you or your child. It’s time to become aware of your own triggers that appear to be from your child's behavior.  However, your child is just being a child, pushing boundaries, finding self and autonomy, they are not trying to trigger your unconscious trauma. When you react in a way that doesn’t truly align with who you are and who you want to be, then we go into a shame hole. These shame holes are so difficult to get out of and so painful to experience. A deep state of shame can put an individual in a functional freeze state. This is where the person is able to function to do their duties, even minimally, and then collapse later that day; struggling to get out of bed. 

This state makes it challenging to be a parent and show up in the way we want and our child needs. Conscious parenting is a lot about helping the parent to feel more stable, calmer, more gentle, and deeper empathy that doesn’t drop when triggered. Building a relationship to your own inner child, shadows, and yourself will be the biggest factor in helping your child feel regulated.